So Have I for You
by Jezebel sil Jazz
Summary: I have yet to think of a suitable summary, so I'll just say-Ron's in love with Harry, and Krum's in love with Ron. What messes teenagers get into *shakes head*. -Slash-


{A/N: Underage!Ron snogging an almost legal adult. Squicked? That's what the back button is for. Disclaimer thing: Don't own HP or anything related, no money is being made, etc. Thanks Robyn for the beta!}  
  
~*~  
  
Just like the heart that's spent a lifetime  
  
Forgiving what is cruel  
  
So have I for you  
  
  
-Nikka Costa, "So have I for you"  
  
~*~  
  
Ron stayed at the lake after the second task.  
  
He watched Harry go up the steps into the school, untroubled. He envied him.  
  
He wondered whether Harry had thought anything of the second task. If he had wondered why Ron was the thing he'd miss most.  
  
Ron shook his head, as if to clear the thoughts from his mind. Harry probably hadn't given a second thought to it. He was his best friend, after all. And it's not like he had any family he would actually miss.  
  
But still, Ron's mind wrapped around and clung to the dim hope that maybe, maybe it meant Harry felt something for him, something like what he felt for Harry.  
  
He sat, alone, on one of the deserted benches. Dusk was falling quickly, and the lake seemed to have taken on a odd glowing look.  
  
Must be the Merpeople's lights. They had cities under there, cities which Ron didn't particularly want to visit again anytime soon.  
  
He really should be getting back... the common room's fireplaces would be lit by now, and he could sit there, next to it, and actually be warm, unlike now.  
  
But Harry would be there.  
  
His heart gave a little jump just at the thought of Harry by the fireplace, Harry sitting next to him, Harry's leg touching his, and the fire reflecting the burning feeling where their bodies had met.  
  
Ron moaned, and buried his face in his hands.  
  
"Ron?" a deep accented voice came from right behind him, and Ron jumped, surprised and a little frightened.  
  
"Ah!" he shouted, and whipped his head around to see who was there. "Wha? Krum?" he stuttered, confused.  
  
"Ron, I just vanted to speak vith you... forgive me, I did not mean to scare you." Krum stepped over the bench, and sat beside Ron.  
  
"Uh, it's okay. I wasn't scared."  
  
"You do not have to pretend vith me, Ron. It is okay. I get scared too."  
  
"You do?"  
  
Krum couldn't possibly get scared. He was Viktor Krum, the greatest Quidditch player of our time, Champion, and Hermione's *boyfriend*.  
  
He was untouchable.  
  
"Yes, I do. Like now, I am scared." Krum said, and looked down at his feet, embarrassed.  
  
"What? Why?"  
  
"Vell, I have something I must tell you, but I am afraid of vat you vill think of it."  
  
"Vat? Eh, what? Are you cheating, or something?" Ron said, letting suspicion cloud his sight.  
  
"No! Viktor Krum does not cheat. No, it is something about you."  
  
About him? Ron? How was he possibly important enough for Krum to give a thought to?  
  
Oh, this was too much. Ron dearly wished Krum would go, leave him alone. He had a lot of tortuous thoughts to think, and not much time before dinner.   
  
"What is it..."  
  
"Vell... I vas... I vas very *surprised* to see Her-my-own-ninny vas the thing I vould miss most. In fact, I think a mistake of some sort vas made." Krum said thoughtfully.  
  
He smelled of gingerbread. It was crazy, but he did. He smelled of gingerbread, the kind his Mum would make, and Ron, before he realized what he was doing, inhaled deeply.   
  
"Ron? Did you hear vat I just said?"  
  
"Oh! Yeah.. Hermione wasn't supposed to be the thing you missed most?"  
  
"Yes. Ron, you are a good listener. That is something I like about you. Her-my-own-ninny, she just talk and talk, all the time, mostly about Harry. And so, I hope, I think, that she vas maybe the thing *Harry* would miss most."  
  
Krum's eyes were insanely dark... fuck the lake, he felt like he was drowning in Krum's eyes.  
  
Krum's eyes?  
  
Ron almost, *almost* laughed out loud, it was so absurd, so stupid. Krum's eyes, what the hell was he thinking?  
  
"Er, well, then who would be the right one?"  
  
"The right one... the right one is you, Ron." Krum said quickly.  
  
No, no, he was the thing Harry would miss most. Because Harry loved him, he wanted Harry to love him, maybe someday he would love him. No, Krum was wrong, please let Krum be wrong.... why would he be the thing Krum missed most, that was stupid, that was wrong, it was wrong, Krum was Krum, and he was Ron.  
  
"You hate me." Krum said morosely.  
  
"I... I... no, I just... why, why would I be thing you miss most?" Ron said shrilly, far to too confused, and cold, and tired, and in love with Harry to even think.  
  
Krum didn't say anything, just dipped his head toward Ron, and kissed him. His lips caught Ron's, and for a brief, *very* brief moment, he lingered there, and before Ron could do anything, think, move, close his eyes or open them more, Krum pulled away and shyly looked at Ron through his mop of thick black hair.  
  
"Do you think I could ever be the thing you'd miss most, Ron?" he whispered, and his eyes desperately searched Ron's for an answer, any answer.  
  
Krum had kissed him. Krum had kissed him. Krum, *that* Krum, had kissed him, Ron.  
  
Ron couldn't speak. His jaw might have been working, but there was no sound coming through, unless he had been struck deaf as well as dumb.  
  
"I am sorry." Krum shook his head. "You should pretend I never did that. I am sorry, Ron. I thought... I just thought..."  
  
This was insane. He'd died, probably, under the lake, drowned, and this was some weird sort of hell, or heaven, just something so fucked up it was tragic.  
  
"...I still think..." Krum continued, biting his lower lip. "I still think..."  
  
He bravely cupped Ron's face in his large, callused hands, and kissed him again, this time neither politely nor quickly. His tongue slipped inside Ron's mouth, and Ron did nothing to resist, because his brain had officially packed it's bags and left.  
  
The heat was incredible, Ron's mouth was bathed in fire, and he moaned, his hands twitching uselessly in his lap, wanting to touch Krum, to pull him close. He could taste Krum, actually *taste* him, like he was some kind of delicacy, and he didn't want this to end.  
  
But what is to too good to be true usually is, and Krum let go. He just sat there, his eyes still closed, his eyelashes creating a crescent moon under his eyes, and wasn't Ron just a teensy bit in love with these eyes?  
  
And then Krum opened them, and stared dolefully at Ron. "I vill leave, if you vant...." he said sadly, "I do not vish to force myself on you. I just vant you to know vat I feel in my heart. I vant you to be happy."  
  
Ron finally found his voice, shockingly enough. "Wh-wh-why?" he stammered, rather stupidly.  
  
"Because I love you." Krum answered, surprised. "Do you not know this now?"  
  
"But, but... Hermione, don't you love *her*?" Ron clumsily tried to gather his thoughts, to form some sort of consciousness.  
  
"No, no, I only asked her to the dance, I only spend so much time vith her because I vant to be near you." Krum confessed.  
  
Ron noticed then, really noticed how beautiful Krum was, how his deep voice resonated from with his thin chest, how his hair hid his eyes, his eyes which were almost black, and so deep you could be lost in them forever.  
  
But it wasn't the first time he had noticed. His obsession with Krum in the beginning of the year hadn't been just purely admiration for his genius Quidditch plays.  
  
Ron had something of a crush on Krum.  
  
His cheeks flushed, and he fought to keep a nervous grin off his face.  
  
He felt exhilarated, and high, like he'd inhaled to too much of the fumes in Fred and George's room. His heart was beating faster than he could form thoughts, and his mind was reeling with the knowledge that Krum loved him, someone actually loved him, and it wasn't his Mum.  
  
And it wasn't Harry.  
  
This sobered him immediately, and coming off the high was worse than never experiencing it at all.  
  
"Ron, I do not vish to make you uncomfortable. I am not even sure if you like boys. But I think you do." Krum interrupted his thoughts.  
  
"Ah, what makes you think that?" Ron said.  
  
"The very same thing that made me so afraid to tell you I love you. You are in love with Harry."  
  
Ron shook his head, wanting to deny it, and yet his heart screamed out that he did, he loved Harry, he *loved* Harry, and the whole fucking world ought to know it.  
  
"Remember, you do not have to pretend vith me. The vay you yearn for Harry, the vay you look at him and vant for him, I know this because so have I for you."  
  
Isn't it odd, how you can spend so much time wanting, you never noticed you're wanted?  
  
"I'm, I'm...." Ron paused, and considered his words. "I *am* in love with Harry."  
  
It was sort of an event to actually say it. He'd thought it, mumbled it to himself, even written it on a piece of paper which he promptly burned, but never spoken those words to someone else.  
  
"So, why did you just tell me you love me?" he continued, "I'm stuck in a sort of limbo, you know? I'm not the sort of guy you want to love."  
  
Krum smiled sadly, he smiled sadly, and very nearly broke Ron's heart, because there was nothing he would do to change it, and he had the power to. It hurt to have this kind of power.  
  
"Because, it is useless to just hold it inside. So," Krum paused and reconsidered, "so I tell you because otherwise you would never know, you vould never give me a chance."  
  
Ron pursed his lips. Maybe Krum didn't actually understand. He couldn't love him back. And yet... it was stupid to say no to what was being offered, and keep on pining for what would never be offered. Useless, and stupid, but Ron found himself doing it anyway.  
  
"I can't, Krum. I can't give you a chance, okay?" He knew he sounded awfully patronizing, but did it really matter now?   
  
"I knew that is vat you vould say." Krum nodded slowly.  
  
"I'm sorry. Look, forget about me, okay? I'm just Ron. Not a big loss or anything."  
  
"Ron, how could you say that? You are *Ron*. *That* Ron." Krum shook his head, his shaggy hair shaking along with it, like he was shocked that Ron didn't know that.  
  
He was a *that* Ron. He was a *that*, a *him*, a *the one*. Ron didn't know any more, what to say or do... not that he had known before, but now he knew less. It sucked.   
  
And Krum took his silence for something less, or maybe more, than what is was, and in that moment took Ron's hand, and held it tight. Held it briefly, because Ron yanked it back, as if burned by fire, cliched as it was.  
  
Bloody hell, it was weird. Burned, by Krum, when no one ever burned him but Harry.  
  
Ron sniffled, because his brain hurt. "Don't touch me anymore, Krum."  
  
"I'm sorry." Krum scooted an inch or so further down the bench away from Ron, like it would help.  
  
Ron sighed, and looked away. Maybe if he couldn't see him, Krum would leave. He felt awful, really, thinking, hoping for that, but what was the point of carrying on this... thing. Whatever it was.  
  
He couldn't handle being in love with two people, obviously, when just the one person tore him up and down and back again every day.  
  
"Ron, have I hurt you?" Krum sounded very concerned, *very*.  
  
That's a good thing, right? For someone to be concerned about you? Even when you wished they weren't?  
  
Ron groaned, because the notion struck him that he really didn't wish Krum wasn't concerned, even though he wanted to very badly. It was all very confusing. Especially since Harry wouldn't ever love him, and he wished he would... Krum *did* love him, and he wished that he *could* wish Krum didn't.   
  
If that made sense.  
  
"You can't tell Harry, okay?" Ron suddenly asked, not knowing where *that* had come from.  
  
"No, I vill not tell anyone anything." Krum agreed  
  
"Thanks." Ron looked back over at Krum.  
  
Krum wasn't looking at Ron anymore. He was looking down into his lap, where he had placed his hands after being so rudely rejected. He looked like he'd bolt at any second.  
  
Ron suddenly decided he'd better kiss him. He'd better kiss him, because he might suddenly up and leave. Krum had sort of snuck right into the "needed" category of people in Ron's life, and it wouldn't do to have him up and leave.  
  
"Uh, Krum?"  
  
"Yes, Ron." Krum went right on staring at his lap.  
  
Before he could convince himself not to, or think about it too much, Ron reached out and turned Krum back to face him. He leaned in, very quickly so that Krum didn't have time to move.  
  
And he kissed him. He, * Ronald Weasley*, kissed *Viktor Krum*.  
  
Their lips met, and it was like the meeting of two seas... or something like that, because wave after wave, pent up feelings and emotions rushed through Ron, feelings and emotions he shouldn't be having, that were trite, and silly, and codependent, and he felt like crying, because it felt so fucking *good*.  
  
He wasn't put off at all when Krum slipped an arm around his waist, or pulled him close so that their bodies were flush. He could feel Krum's chest falling and rising rapidly next to his own; and was almost certain their hearts were beating in sync.  
  
And though Ron had always thought kissing was like a sort of tango, this was definitely more like a waltz.  
  
He slid his tongue in Krum's mouth, and Krum welcomed it, he actually *welcomed* it, and he sucked on it like it was a really tasty acid pop, and Ron's mind was officially blown.  
  
Ron Weasley had been kissed twice, kissed someone once, had his tongue in another boy's mouth, been told he was loved, and fallen in love with two different people. Pretty impressive for a fourth year.  
  
Even if none of it made sense. But Ron was to tired of trying to make sense of things now.  
  
Finally, tragically, they separated, because they had to breath *sometime*, didn't they?  
  
Ron took Krum's hand in his own, and was relieved when Krum didn't snatch it back. He grinned, stupidly, happily, wasn't it the same thing now, and blushed furiously, even though he was sure he must have looked like one big red blob.  
  
And Krum just looked at him like he was some amazing spectacular thing, and Ron thought to tell him something.  
  
"Krum?"  
  
"You can call me Viktor, you know." Krum, er, Viktor, said shyly.  
  
"Um, Viktor.. you know.. um.." Ron giggled, sounding a lot like Ginny when she was talking about Harry.  
  
Krum waited.  
  
"You can tell Harry."  
  
~END~ 


End file.
